Thanks to the wonderful @misslizzymarie, I was given an opportunity to guest blog on the site WeLoveDates.com. Of course, I’m still smitten by #Lawyergirl and found a way to write about how we met…again. Please take a gander at my first guest blog post, I’m suuper excited!
LA Idiot and @SingleGirlsLike
Let’s round out this week with a guest blog post from @singlegirlslike. I’m sorry for dropping the ball on this one, I was too busy to post it any earlier.
–
With internet dating becoming more and more socially acceptable over the past several years, and statistics claiming 30% of couples now meet on dating sites like match dot com, people often question my apparent aversion towards finding somebody online.
Have I actually tried internet dating? Well, I can’t knock it ’til I’ve tried it, right?
Here’s the thing: every time I physically went out with a guy I met online, he was never as smart, funny, charming or good-looking as he was on my computer screen. Without the luxury of having an indefinite amount of time to respond to my witty messages or emails, some of these guys turned out to be rather awkward and boring in real life.
I devoted some time developing an internet flirtation with someone, I built him up in my mind to be this amazing person. I might even have spoken to him on the phone a few times. But when I finally meet him in person, he has bad breath. Or wears brown corduroy pants in the middle of summer. Or has atrocious manners. And he comes up short. Literally.
One friend told me how she changed her friend’s online dating profile to help her friend receive more attention from potential suitors. While her intentions were sincere, I have to question the integrity of online profiles out there. Are the guys I find attractive really speaking for themselves, or do they have a friend acting on their behalf as a modern day Cyrano de Bergerac?
Yes, I understand the convenience and efficiency of online dating. Our mothers used to tell us that we can’t find Prince Charming sitting on the couch. Well, now we can! In our pajamas! At home! Maybe eating dinner over the sink? And mobile applications now allow us to troll for dudes on our cell phones wherever we go. What’s not to like?
To me, internet dating is the 21st century version of the mail-order bride. You shift through a “catalog” of faces. You can be specific about how far someone lives, how much money he/she makes and how tall/fat he/she is. I don’t need a computer telling me how attractive I am (okay, Cupid?), and I don’t need to answer a hundred questions to figure out if I’m compatible with someone.
Call me old-fashioned, but when I introduce my boyfriend or fiance to people and they ask how we met, I want more than just a ”we met online” story. I want a GOOD story. I want a “we were both shopping for the same bottle of wine” story. I want a “we were hiking in a national park and I rescued her from a poisonous rattlesnake” story. I want a “we were stuck in traffic on the highway in our respective open convertibles and started talking to each other” story.
I want a story that when told, elicits a chorus of “awww’s” – a story so fantastic, it could only be explained by fate, destiny and Santa Claus. When I meet the man of my dreams, I want one of those “and we’ve been together ever since” stories that you hear from old people before the internets. Whatever happened to meeting people in coffee shops or book stores? Again, call me old-fashioned.
Maybe I watched too many Disney princess movies or read too many fairy tales growing up. Maybe deep down in my bitchy, snarky core, I’m really a bleeding heart romantic. I want to believe in love at first sight, not love at first site.
Do I secretly mock single girls who internet date? No. Am I just as disappointed with the guys I meet in person as the ones I met online? Yes. Can an online relationship stem from a good story? Sure. (I’ve heard of a married couple who met online playing World of Warcraft, and now people like @LAIdiot and @SageStella are using social media to find romance on Twitter and even Facebook.)
I can’t advocate internet dating, but I’m not completely against it. In fact, it seems like half of my friends who got married lately met their spouses on a dating site. And they’re happy, so I’m happy for them.
Personally, I just don’t want anyone writing in the guestbook at my wedding “We’re so glad you ‘clicked!’” Call me old-fashioned.
–
You can read more of @singlegirlslike’s thoughts on being a single girl on her blog www.stuffsinglegirlslike.com
LA Idiot and @SageStella
As LA Idiot readers learned last week, 
I am smitten with a girl that I met through Twitter. It seems very odd to say that out loud. Especially because we’ve both decided to give this a fair shake and not pursue other romantic partners. Through Twitter conversations with @SageStella, I realized that I’m not the only one who is attempting to connect romantically with someone over Twitter, no matter the distance. @SageStella is in a similar situation with someone on Twitter, though not quite as intense of a situation as I have entered. Here is her account of her situation with non-traditional online dating.
As I have been following the on-going saga/dramedy/reality blogging romance of one LAIdiot and the object of his affection, #LawyerGirl, I began to ponder my own twitter crushes, flirtations and my less-than-stellar luck in this department. Let me speak to you on the flip side of the internet crush coin.
First off, I didn’t get involved with Twitter to “meet” someone or even really make friends. It’s been a vehicle to promote the blog I have with a couple of dear friends – shout out: Super Blogettes. We remain anonymous (believe me my avatar is much hotter than my real-life persona). But in striking up conversations of sorts I “met” all types of interesting people via Twitter and actually become interested in having relationships of sorts. I got to “witness” one tweep’s journey from preggers to mommy via tweets and delighted and seeing twit pics of the new addition to my Twitter family.
And then of course, there’s boys. I like boys. I have been single for two years and have become a re- born boy crazy tween! It’s really quite ridiculous. And I soon developed some actual twitter crushes. Mostly the innocent types but then again I’m a girl. Suddenly I’m checking my DM over and over because my twit crush, I’ll call him #JerseyBoy.
Jersey Boy is elusive. I am the (stupid) type of girl that falls for that crap. Like the chase etc. Twitter has provided the ultimate outlet for something that’s safe/not-quite-real. But ultimately Jersey Boy is the kind of guy I look for in real life. He’s funny and quirky. While I feel silly saying it- I can see that he has a good heart and he’s kind and caring. Has his own interests that differ from mine. He’s a dork, which I love. First time I saw his picture my thought was “yep that makes sense”- he has the “look” of someone I’d date and who I see myself with. I guess I could never say never to getting serious with someone I met via Twitter but unlike LA Idiot, I keep letting the voice of logic creep back. Similar to LA Idiot and #LawyerGirl, #JerseyBoy is on the other side of the country. I can’t get past this, ultimately I think this is just something to pass the time. What if he did live here? I’d probably be singing a different tune and having a real Twitmance of my own.
Why am I getting my emotions tangled up in the world of cyber romance? I’ve avoided sites like Match.com for quite some time and figured that romance would just… happen …like it did before. I think my online boyfriend obsession stems from my fear of getting into an actual relationship. The last two did a real number on me. And as my Twitter crush resides safely over 2,000 miles away I’m free to flirt, be myself, and put myself “out there.” Or maybe deep down I’m hoping I’ll get one of those one-in-a-million real connections like what LAIdiot may have stumbled upon. Like he said…. it would make a great love story.
- @SageStella
The majority of people think of online dating as Match.com and eHarmony.com. However, Twitter (and Facebook) might be revolutionizing how we meet our romantic partners. Both @SageStella and I didn’t seek out romance through our Twitter accounts, but we both some how found romantic interests. Even though our Twitmances seem to be diverging in final outcomes, it’s an interesting topic to broach. Have you ever had a romance begin with Twitter? Would you be open to the possibility? How do you feel about finding someone through Twitter as opposed to traditional dating sites? @SageStella and I would love to hear your responses! @singlegirlslike will chime in on Friday with her opinions on internet dating.
LA Idiot Will Reveal His Identity…
Well, I’m not going to just tell you…you’ll have to earn it. Are you interested in finding out who the man behind the avatar is?
I am giving LA Idiot readers an opportunity to learn my real identity! Are you interested?
The Terms:
If my Twitter account reaches 1,000 followers by September 1, 2010 I will reveal my identity in a video blog.
I am currently at 576 followers. September 1 is 19 days away. That’s less than 23 followers a day. The question is LA Idiot readers….how badly do you want to see my real face? Or am I just a narcissistic idiot?
Tweet the message “Follow @laidiot so we can discover his true identity! http://bit.ly/8Y8wKZ”
LA Idiot and His Mystery #LawyerGirl
In the past two posts I have mentioned someone dubbed #LawyerGirl. I’ve given a few details about her. I feel compelled to shed a little more light on her. LA Idiot readers have endured the many lows of LA dating, now it’s time to talk about a more positive situation.
#LawyerGirl is obviously intelligent (Lawyers are well educated). She’s beautiful (Sex in public hot), and she’s ambitious (She wants to be a judge). I find these traits in a women to be very sexy. Yet, she’s moving to New York to work for her big law firm and I am here in LA, starting up a multi-thousand dollar company. I lamented to myself that nothing would ever amount to anything other than flirtatious texts.
What started as Twitter flirting progressed to intoxicated text messages. From there, #LawyerGirl and I started to exchange text 
messages more frequently, drunk or not. They were not always the flirty, “This will never happen, we can say what we want” texts. Rather, they progressed to genuinely interested in one another texts. Soon we were talking to each other on the phone. At first they may have been drunk dials (Ahh alcohol, the great social lubricant). It maybe because this was new and Twitter based, so intoxicated was the only way we could muster up the courage to call. Yet, we had long, enjoyable conversations. Not the dirty, “What are you wearing?” kind, but rather “What’s your family like?” kind. What is going on here?
There is now an obvious, mutual attraction. We “know” each other through texts, drunk dials, and innocuous photos. I’m slowly thinking about #LawyerGirl more and more, hoping she is doing the same. Soon, we decide to speak in a perfectly sober manner. I call her, it’s late where she is, 3 hours ahead. I hear her voice again, and a smile creeps upon my lips. We begin to converse, through all hours of the night. I have plans, but I forget them as I’m engrossed by the tales of her life. Intermittently, I chime in with facts about mine. Normally I LOVE talking about myself, but now I could care less. I’m content sprinkling myself in here and there, while listening to #LawyerGirl speak. I check my phone and realize we’ve been speaking for 90 minutes. It didn’t feel like a long time, but 90 minutes on the phone is long. Did we hang up? No, we continued to talk, to laugh, to learn about one another. The urge for rational thought would creep up, saying “You’ve never met this girl” but rationality was always shot down because deep down, it didn’t matter. There was a real connection here.
However, the distance is a big factor. Is this crazy? We’ve never met. We just know each other through Twitter. Yet, we’ve progressed to the point where we can talk on the phone for three and a half hours. Yes. That’s correct. Our first sober v. sober conversation was nearly four hours long. Did it feel that long? Nope. Did we decide that we should meet one another in person in November? Yes.
So many questions surround my situation with #LawyerGirl. Where to start? Am I crazy? Is she crazy? What is going on? We’re scheduling a date 3 months and 3,000 miles away! Long distance relationships are hard….ESPECIALLY if you’ve never met the girl. I know. This is asinine. But I can’t help but feel this warmth toward #LawyerGirl. I get excited when I see her text me. I can’t stop thinking about her and the fun we’d have together. It’s all so irrational, but isn’t that what infatuation does to a person?
I don’t know what this is with #LawyerGirl. Maybe I’m too busy for girls and just looking for some attention. Maybe she’s just passing the time before officially moves to New York. Or maybe we hit the rare, but real, connection on Twitter?
I have stopped trying to figure out what is going on with our situation. I am just enjoying what we have, no matter it’s infancy, or it’s unorthodox beginnings. Maybe this will fizzle in a month…or maybe we’ll have that Hollywood ending everyone is searching for?
LA Idiot Yearns for Travel
I love to travel. I’m reasonably well traveled but I have not traveled as much as I’d like. Isn’t that how every American 
feels? Anyway, living in LA, we get bombarded by new movie promotions. The big movie promotion going on right now is for Julia Roberts’ Eat Pray Love, which ignited my yearning for world travel.*
The plot is about a women who is going through a transition period in her life and decides to up and leave for a year and travel to Italy, India, and Bali. That is a dream of mine; to one day decide that it’s time to get up and travel the world. In the movie Julia Roberts’ character travels alone, which I’ve done. Traveling alone is an amazing experience. It forces discovery that one might not have had with a partner. You meet so many more interesting people when you have no one. Had I not traveled alone, I would not have met the Canadian teacher with whom I made an impromptu visit to Langkawi, Malaysia. Nor would I have climbed Mt. Kinabalu with an English doctor or a Japanese jet fighter pilot. I doubt I would have met a group of Australian bros and sipped beers on a boat, under the stars in Halong Bay, Vietnam. What great memories I have because I traveled alone.
Alas, now is not the time for me to travel the world. I’m embarking on a different journey of discovery, which LA Idiot readers are a part of. I’m looking for success professionally and personally. I don’t have time to re-live my post college escapades of hopping from one hostel to another. Hopefully one day, I’ll be in a situation where I can take time off and travel the world with the woman I love. As much as I loved traveling alone, I want to share the joy of new cultural experiences with someone special. That’s something that always brings a smile to my face.
#LawyerGirl is leaving for a 2 week trip to Barcelona, Paris, Greece, and India, which also sparked my lust for world travel. I wonder if she’ll send me a post card so I can live vicariously through her travels?
LA Idiot and His Deadends
Today is the day of the big date with #NetworkingGirl. Oh wait, she called last night to let me know she was “kind of” seeing someone. Really? Are you fucking serious? This is why I hate women sometimes.
Whatever. I’m over it. I’ve moved on. I’ve been texting this cougar I met a few weeks ago. We finally connected on the phone and had a nice little chat. Turns out, she’s 10 years my senior. She made it clear she doesn’t date men younger than 30. Yet, because of her honesty, for some reason, I still wanted to hang out with her. I have hit another romantic dead end, but at least I have Sunday plans.
I guess I’ll be occupying my time with my work and my mystery #LawyerGirl. #LawyerGirl and I exchange playful texts. It’s innocent fun considering she’s in another state and New York bound in a month. But hot damn it would be awesome if she was moving here. She has the rare combination of beauty, brains, and ambition that I find irresistible in women. She’s a catch and she knows it. Some lucky New Yorker is going to snap her up in no time…unless I become the NYC Idiot?
LA Idiot Has a Date
Oh my gorsh! You read that right. I asked out a girl that doesn’t have a boyfriend. Whoaaa buddy! What is going on here?
Do you remember #Networking girl? Well, it’s been over a month since I met this girl. I’ve sent a few texts here and there but there has never been any real heavy communication. I almost lost interest. Then I saw her at another event recently. We had a nice little chat, caught up, and that was that. I worked the room and met other women and she left. No fireworks.
My brief chat with #Networking girl re-kindled my initial interest in this girl. I’m not entirely sure if I’ve mentioned her. She’s a graduate student. She is a bit nerdy. She’s worldly. Oh, and she’s freaking hot. That sounds like a pretty sweet combination to me. So why not call her? I’m living a life without fear, therefore I called her. I asked her plans for Sunday. Nope. Busy. Damn it. Monday? No. Fuck. Then she offered up Tuesday. Wow, ok…Tuesday it is.
“What do you have planned?” she asked.
“Um, I don’t know. My plans were for Sunday afternoon” I lied.
LA Idiot readers. Help me out here. What can I do with a girl in LA around 8pm during the week? On Twitter, @KellySeal suggested the “Tuesday Night Cafe Project in little Tokyo. Free and arty!” would be a good cheap choice. Any other suggestions? I know you are creative LA Idiot readers! Thanks for your help! Will report back…promise.
LA Idiot and His Birthday
Holy mole I am 27 today! Yikes. That sounds so old (apologizes to the pumas who read this blog). I am officially in my late 20s! To tell you the truth, I’m actually ok with my birthday and I’m not “freaking out” like I have with all my previous post-21 birthdays (I can be a little over dramatic).
I would have to say that the biggest reason for my acceptance of my age is because of what I’ve started this year (or just these past few months). No longer am I saying things like, “What have I done with my life?” or “I should be at this point in my life right now.” Why? Because I finally took the initiative and started what I wanted in my life. At 27 I finally took the plunge into entrepreneurship and philanthropy. I no longer have that feeling of angst as I sit on the metaphorical sidelines of life.
Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. Sometimes I feel like I sit on the sidelines of dating. That’s just because I haven’t been on a good date in a while or had a relationship in 3 years. If we’ve learned anything from this blog, it’s that I still try and ask out girls. As much as I think I’m ready for a girlfriend, I’m probably not. My cousin came over for dinner a few nights ago and it took her a few attempts to get me off my computer. Her response?
“Yea Idiot, don’t get a girlfriend right now. You’ll probably treat her poorly because you’re so focused on your work right now.”
Ouch! However, she was married to someone similar to me and knows first hand what it’s like to be second fiddle to the job. I don’t want to do that to a girl. So either I don’t date or I make a concerted effort to be a good boyfriend (should this situation ever arise).
I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason in life. Like Steve Jobs said, you can’t connect the dots moving forward, only looking back. I have been fortunate in my life and been able to see the dots connect and it’s a wonderful feeling. I’m sure that will be the case with my love life as well. I just have to trust that things will work out.
LA Idiot and Sacrifice
By LAIdiot on September 1, 2010
Sacrifice. It means different things to different people. To me, it means giving up everything for something that I love and believe in. Sacrifice isn’t easy and that’s why many people don’t do it. I knew starting this company would mean making lots of sacrifices in my life. Now I really am starting to understand what that means.
Today is September first. For many people, that’s the day rent is due. Also, it could mean, credit card bills, car payments, phone bills, gas and electric bills, and any other freaking bill this crazy world can serve up. For someone that is starting their own company and isn’t pulling in a the paycheck he was used to….this is a daunting time. Sacrifices are in order.
I am considering my options, there are few, but I have options. I need to decrease my monthly expenses. The biggest expense is rent. Living a quarter mile from the beach comes at a price. A price that was doable when I received two paychecks a month. Now I can’t justify this 4 figure monthly commitment while I start this company. What do I do? My three options are:
- Sublet my room and move in with my friend for 3 months
- Have a friend move in and share my room for the remaining 4 months of my lease
- Have faith in life’s good fortunes that I’ll receive client checks by the time I have to pay my bills again in 30 days.
Each have their positives and negatives. If I were to sublet my room, I could get my deposit back and sell all my stuff. That would give me the most money and buy me a couple of months. However, then I don’t have money for rent deposit and my friend is only willing to commit to 3 months (which is still more than fair). Having my friend move in would mean I sleep on the couch and possible roommate tiffs with 3 people living in a 2 BR. Obviously my roommate wants me to choose option 3. That is obviously my first option, but I need to plan for the worst because who knows…maybe I stay broke for another 30 days?
I want this company to work so very badly. I know I can make it work. I just need to buy myself time. The question is, what sacrifices am I willing to make? In the next few days we’ll find out.
Posted in General, Social Commentary, Start Up Life | Tagged broke as a joke, entrepreneurship, Sacrifices, start up life | 6 Responses